4.27.2010

"so give me your hand and let jump out the window"



I am living in Shin lyrics. This year so far has been the oddest mess of surprisingly messy, yet handleable tragedies, and it's not even may.

So far I have been kicked out, fired, dumped, blackmailed, ignored, and slandered, all while being homeless, losing my best friend, and waiting on baited breath for the financial aid that councilors frantically pushed me to the head of the line for once hearing my full story.

well it finally came, I got a new job and was apartment hunting when I break my foot. forcing me to drop all save one of my classes, move back in with my parents, and possibly quit my new job, albeit temporarily.

Oddly enough, thinking this all over once again, I've felt no different. All of this is just like the rest, no frustration, no fear, just near numbness. There was a brief moment of exhaustion when blackmailed, almost losing my new job before I started it, but other than that, I feel normal,

like this isn't damaging.

I feel inhuman. I shattered my foot and didn't shed a tear. That is much more worrying than anything else.

14 comments:

rebecca said...

wow thats a hard year so far. my brother just broke his ankle but thankfully he lives at home with us, although i'll probably be the one looking after him!
hope you get better soon and its not so wierd that you didnt cry, i never cry at what im supposed to x

joyce. said...

We all have struggles to face, good luck enduring yours. And although this is hardly the time to care, there's a typo in your title line..

Linnea said...

i am so sorry,must be horrible not being in touch with you own body! i can relate to the numbness, its awful, you really dont know what you ACTUALLY feel. hope for the best for you! and let the rest of 2010 only do you good :)

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Heather said...

god, you're in the wars aren't you? I hope thingd have been better of late. Following :)

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