"this is what love is for, to be out of place, gorgeous and alone, face to face"

I sent this photo to Le Love a while back, but seeing it again this morning going through the much neglected blog roll, and I now feel it's hardly romantic. instead, it's exactly the opposite.

talking to a friend the other day and I realized that so many of us are like these two, blind but tangible, hardly paying attention to what is real but instead so focused on trying to feel the other, calculating our moves. so few actually have the courage to stand up and be real.

in postmodernism the other day, we discussed porn and it's influence. and not just the hard core action that generally comes to mind when mentioned, but any kind of two-demensional substitute for emotional and physical relationships. from Deep Throat down to Pride and Prejudice, it seems like no one wants to take the harder path to actually experience these things for ourselves, so we further our 2d worlds in literature, films, online, and lessen the natural interaction it's all based upon. become in turn more and more calculated in life, seeing the smooth examples in media that always work out towards these epicly constructed endings, becoming then less honest and more like the flat conterparts we've created.

I'm as guilty as any, it's in my nature to hold back, be the ultimate diplomat in hopes to get everything right. can't imagine that this helps anything. but then again that's all I know, so how could I not imagine that the opposite is the solution. everyone has that image of turning a corner that produces the epic scene they've been waiting for, but how real is that idea even.

honesty is seen to be so steady, but in reality I believe it's the most volatile, just because we are. no Truth, but many dynamic truths. the majority of life is that imagined poetic journey to find whatever it is we're looking for, so we live confused thinking that there's a corner to turn a little way down, just one more tank of gas, one more blind date, when we shouldn't be expecting those dramatic film-worthy endings we've been trained to want.

I want to see somebody give me natural hope, not the kind that wraps us up in choruses and perfect lighting, but real. tangible. guided by the beauty we see everyday rather than the manufactured promises from everywhere else. can we find that balance?


miss_vogue said...

oh great post! we CAN!

FASHIONconfectionairy said...

I really agree with you, in the beginning of your post I thought the photo was sweet..but well now I have a different view on it.

Leigh said...

I couldn't agree with you more, but as you say I am just as guilty of it! Thank you for the wonderful reminder ;)



Ara said...

What a great post, made me think. :)

mom & son said...

it's such a cute photo!


Flavia M. from FRINGE INDIE MAGAZINE said...

The image is so pretty!

Lina said...

there's an essay on this subject matter in chuck klosterman's book sex drugs and cocoa puffs

and your idea about a "natural interaction" counteracts your later point of "no Truth, but many dynamic truths". what is a "natural interaction" anyway. literature has existed for centuries, and people have been idealistic and wrapped in fantasy for just as long. so can there even be a "natural interaction". it's possible you say there are "many dynamic truths" because of your "postmodern" education and as a result of the classes you've been taking, try thinking outside of your schooling because your idea of a "natural interaction" sounds more to be leaning towards a "one truth" ideology than a postmodern one.

ps. your line "honesty is seen to be so steady, but in reality I believe it's the most volatile, just because we are" doesn't make a whole lotta sense. the most volatile what? "because we are" what? be more specific.

Don't Be A Hero said...

Thanks for all the comments everyone!

In terms of "natural interaction," as you put it, I am more simply suggesting that maybe conventions, such as holding back and calculating relationships, may not always be the best idea. I'm not sure there is a true "natural interaction" either, especially with, not only literature, but the imaginations and fantastic hopes of people that have ruled as that "2d substitute" for millennia, thus also ruling the real thing with the ideals we create. Instead, I'm trying to encourage questioning that social authority, wrapped up in those same ideals, which dictates how people interact with one another in terms of love and sex, and I'm not really sure how you think that isn't postmodern. When I say that there isn't one Truth, but many dynamic truths, I mean that what we've created in terms of societal rules aren't always applicable and should be examined rather than blindly followed.

I believe people are volatile, thus making our dynamic truths, certainties, beliefs, whatever you call them, the same because we evolve constantly. I want these principles to do the same.

How does questioning a major social ideal and saying that I don't believe there is one Truth, "sound more to be leaning towards a 'one truth' ideology than a postmodern one?" I have no idea how you came to that. I'm sorry if I misunderstood you Lina, but I feel like I've made my thoughts fairly clear here. These are just suggestions and by no means any strict idea to be taken word for word. Because maybe convention works for some people, which should not be discounted. This is just my point of view since custom hasn't done much of anything for me, but I'm not saying this is the only way to go. I just want more people to question what they see in society to be sure that they aren't dismissing other options that may work much better for them. I'm sorry that I seem to be confusing. I hope this clears things up, but if I misunderstood you Lina, please let me know and I will try to better explain myself.

rebecca said...

wow what a good point. im totally guilty of that as well. people are more intersting and quirky than any film or book. i just need to keep remembering that.


Hope whatever your going through gets better. If its any consolation, the photo is really good romantic or not...

FabBlab said...

I loved this post. Very insightful and made me think.
Also, can I just say I am in love with your header? Okay, thought I'd throw that in there ;-P

Signe said...


Acaislim said...

Great blog!

Heini said...

Love the pic.

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Allyn :)

r said...

HI, I'm a girl from China
My English's not good and I hope u can understand what I say:)
I've visited ur blog for many times but I didn't leave a comment
But now I have to say that I love ur blog:)

Bridget Aolani said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Don't Be A Hero said...

Thanks everyone!

R, your English is perfect, don't worry about a thing!

Lina said...


juts to clear up what i meant before...i just thought that your post contained postmodern ideas, however your point about a "natural interaction" which i took to mean one "true" form of interaction of which there are many twisted versions as a result of romanticized media was leaning away from postmodern thought. just for the sole fact that postmodernism doesn't accept one Truth, but many truths, and the idea of a "natural" (which again i took to mean the one true Form of interaction) interaction falls under the thought of there being one Truth for things.

sorry if i misunderstood you, or hadn't (haven't) made myself clear, i was just trying to understand what you were saying because i've had this discussion with people before and i actually argue the same things you do here. my previous comment wasn't a stab at your ideas.

ps. i blame you for making the things you post every half century so interesting because i'm here typing this instead of reading the 10 novels i have to for my lit class, thaaaanks

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Don't Be A Hero said...

haha, thank Lina, I should be paying my bills/doing the laundry/finishing White Noise/starting Lost in the Funhouse/researching entropy/and getting ready for work at the moment, so I feel your pain :P

I figured it might have been a misunderstanding, though now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I sounded annoyed in my last comment, sorry about that! I believe I was working on very little sleep and/or very little study time for a test I was about to take, though I'm not sure, hehe

The Man Who Knew Too Much said...

I enjoyed the read - you make a couple of good points. But I do not think that it is not-romantic. It gives me a connotation of romance in a mysterious secretive way. I would guess they are in their early stage of relationship. But really nice read, good one!

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Heini said...

Good post.


Dylana said...

Beautiful photo!

LOvely blog!


HEK said...

Come back and blog some more why don't you? :)

What is Reality Anyway? said...

love it!!

Heidi said...

So well said. Damn.

mel said...

u write so nice..
i'm thinking about similar things the last months, and i've just realised that people are strange.we are strange and everyone is.and we know that it's really beautiful and fun and romantic when we're out of control.but noone can live like this,and noone can live with his eyes closed by another person.
just have fun ;)
your blog is really special,kisses

Taryn Andre said...

i agree when you say most people think that people think life is this 'poetic journey' and that people are trying to 'search what theyre looking for' ...true but ive come to learn that when you seek, you dont find. Its better when you just stumble upon things.

sabrina_ said...

"I want to see somebody give me natural hope, not the kind that wraps us up in choruses and perfect lighting, but real."

- Beautiful writing. Interesting mind.

Silk Ties & Striped Shirts said...

Interesting post! Good read

Canvas Photos said...

I do love this photo a lot.